








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1121 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 719 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8326 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,374 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7302 | 26% |
| Smokes | 8936 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5827 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 6309 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,448,315 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 603 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | contraxed | 49% | 43 |
| #2 | Lil' Caesar | 48% | 101 |
| #3 | nading everybody | 44% | 189 |
| #4 | bigdadszn | 37% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | contraxed | 49% | 43 |
| #2 | Lil' Caesar | 48% | 101 |
| #3 | nading everybody | 44% | 189 |
| #4 | bigdadszn | 37% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nading everybody | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | contraxed | 4 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nading everybody | 564 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #2 | contraxed | 154 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | Lil' Caesar | 129 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | bigdadszn | 93 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | contraxed | +2.38 | 84 | 62 |
| #2 | w | +0.41 | 76 | 63 |
| #3 | Lil' Caesar | -0.53 | 53 | 62 |
| #4 | nading everybody | -2.06 | 46 | 63 |
| #5 | bigdadszn | -4.55 | 38 | 80 |





