








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 285 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 198 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2316 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,316 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2951 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2450 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3833 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2082 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $943,437 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 284 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w | 58% | 31 |
| #2 | goodguynicholai | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | Av3nGeR | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | ChrisPBacon | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | contraxed | 50% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ChrisPBacon | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | contraxed | 50% | 40 |
| #6 | w | 44% | 189 |
| #7 | Lil' Caesar | 40% | 81 |
| #8 | bigdadszn | 34% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w | 25 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | contraxed | 8 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | w | 4 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Lil' Caesar | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | bigdadszn | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w | 454 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | contraxed | 157 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | goodguynicholai | 103 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #4 | Lil' Caesar | 95 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | bigdadszn | 93 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChrisPBacon | +5.31 | 93 | 56 |
| #2 | contraxed | +2.74 | 83 | 57 |
| #3 | w | +2.11 | 81 | 65 |
| #4 | w | +1.90 | 79 | 63 |
| #5 | goodguynicholai | -0.05 | 70 | 60 |





