








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 528 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 197 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3709 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,602 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2492 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2363 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3181 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3566 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,126,016 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 257 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w | 48% | 101 |
| #2 | Epii | 46% | 46 |
| #3 | Av3nGeR | 44% | 45 |
| #4 | nading everybody | 40% | 81 |
| #5 | bigdadszn | 38% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Epii | 46% | 46 |
| #3 | Av3nGeR | 44% | 45 |
| #4 | nading everybody | 40% | 81 |
| #5 | bigdadszn | 38% | 126 |
| #6 | contraxed | 33% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w | 11 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | contraxed | 5 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | bigdadszn | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | nading everybody | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Epii | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigdadszn | 309 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | Epii | 296 | 0.31 | 9 min |
| #3 | nading everybody | 259 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | w | 247 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | contraxed | 129 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | contraxed | +1.47 | 85 | 56 |
| #2 | w | +1.07 | 77 | 63 |
| #3 | Av3nGeR | +0.69 | 77 | 55 |
| #4 | Lil' Caesar | +0.27 | 66 | 60 |
| #5 | Epii | +0.25 | 56 | 72 |





