










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 198 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Esplay | 5 matches | 1,836 | |
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
352 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,480 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 359 | 24% |
| Smokes | 353 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 401 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 367 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $183,708 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 110 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naju | 50% | 26 |
| #2 | der discoköniG | 37% | 27 |
| #3 | hilL-.^ | 36% | 11 |
| #4 | enox | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naju | 50% | 26 |
| #2 | der discoköniG | 37% | 27 |
| #3 | hilL-.^ | 36% | 11 |
| #4 | enox | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | der discoköniG | 5 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | hilL-.^ | 1 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | enox | 1 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naju | 118 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | der discoköniG | 110 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | hilL-.^ | 61 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #4 | enox | 17 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | der discoköniG | -0.02 | 74 | 79 |
| #2 | hilL-.^ | -0.61 | 67 | 72 |
| #3 | enox | -0.75 | 75 | 69 |
| #4 | naju | -1.46 | 58 | 81 |
| #5 | Hotfix | -2.39 | 58 | 73 |





