










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 606 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 191 matches | ||
| Premier | 187 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5226 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,996 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4601 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4437 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4834 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5124 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $901,741 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 344 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coach | 82% | 39 |
| #2 | n0thing | 78% | 36 |
| #3 | PwnAlone | 74% | 148 |
| #4 | mort | 73% | 78 |
| #5 | austin | 70% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | JoJo | 69% | 83 |
| #7 | Cooper | 67% | 46 |
| #8 | hyza LEONHART | 63% | 56 |
| #9 | Gavin | 62% | 55 |
| #10 | Stewie2K | 49% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoJo | 16 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | PwnAlone | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | austin | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | mort | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | hyza LEONHART | 4 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PwnAlone | 841 | 0.28 | 23 min |
| #2 | Stewie2K | 463 | 0.27 | 15 min |
| #3 | austin | 263 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | mort | 249 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | Gavin | 193 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PwnAlone | +3.31 | 93 | 70 |
| #2 | Gavin | +3.18 | 92 | 65 |
| #3 | n0thing | +3.06 | 85 | 79 |
| #4 | austin | +2.50 | 91 | 73 |
| #5 | fl0m | +2.38 | 80 | 72 |





