










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 448 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 849 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12270 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,076 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13826 | 41% |
| Smokes | 6643 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 6021 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 7586 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,068,361 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PwnAlone | 60% | 62 |
| #2 | Cooper | 53% | 171 |
| #3 | Intuition | 51% | 80 |
| #4 | freakazoid | 51% | 316 |
| #5 | fl0m | 49% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Cooper | 53% | 171 |
| #3 | Intuition | 51% | 80 |
| #4 | freakazoid | 51% | 316 |
| #5 | fl0m | 49% | 83 |
| #6 | MASS | 45% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | freakazoid | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | PwnAlone | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | MASS | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Cooper | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | freakazoid | 1082 | 0.16 | 31 min |
| #2 | PwnAlone | 422 | 0.27 | 11 min |
| #3 | fl0m | 403 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #4 | Cooper | 355 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #5 | Intuition | 317 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PwnAlone | +3.26 | 93 | 73 |
| #2 | Stewie2K | +1.98 | 83 | 69 |
| #3 | freakazoid | +1.91 | 82 | 72 |
| #4 | Intuition | +1.68 | 88 | 60 |
| #5 | fl0m | +1.18 | 78 | 73 |





