








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 577 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 361 matches | ||
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6113 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,769 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7659 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5582 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4104 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4424 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,169,885 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 283 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mort | 89% | 27 |
| #2 | viz | 75% | 28 |
| #3 | fl0m | 74% | 148 |
| #4 | Stewie2K | 60% | 62 |
| #5 | Gavin | 58% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | viz | 75% | 28 |
| #3 | fl0m | 74% | 148 |
| #4 | Stewie2K | 60% | 62 |
| #5 | Gavin | 58% | 38 |
| #6 | lou | 47% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | viz | 4 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | fl0m | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Stewie2K | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | mort | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fl0m | 745 | 0.25 | 18 min |
| #2 | Stewie2K | 415 | 0.27 | 13 min |
| #3 | Gavin | 159 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | lou | 154 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | mort | 100 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PwnAlone | +3.57 | 93 | 70 |
| #2 | Gavin | +2.91 | 93 | 61 |
| #3 | viz | +2.89 | 89 | 74 |
| #4 | fl0m | +1.95 | 80 | 71 |
| #5 | Stewie2K | +1.71 | 79 | 72 |





