








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 263 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 431 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 696 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2644 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,285 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1493 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2487 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2664 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2641 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,261,327 of utility $325 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flo | 55% | 31 |
| #2 | Flotek | 51% | 63 |
| #3 | xXxPUSSYCRUSHERxXx | 48% | 121 |
| #4 | HasH | 48% | 117 |
| #5 | falco | 48% | 203 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Cartega | 48% | 63 |
| #7 | trash | 44% | 141 |
| #8 | ♥ΘТЭρ♥ | 43% | 47 |
| #9 | p i v o o o | 39% | 38 |
| #10 | egg | 37% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xXxPUSSYCRUSHERxXx | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | p i v o o o | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | falco | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | trash | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | HasH | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trash | 449 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | xXxPUSSYCRUSHERxXx | 387 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #3 | Flo | 156 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #4 | Flotek | 127 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Cartega | 126 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | falco | +2.80 | 65 | 47 |
| #2 | xXxPUSSYCRUSHERxXx | +2.50 | 47 | 73 |
| #3 | Flotek | +2.14 | 74 | 63 |
| #4 | Cartega | +2.08 | 61 | 67 |
| #5 | Flo | +1.33 | 57 | 68 |





