








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 91 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 386 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4536 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,436 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1974 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2198 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 4553 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 3711 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,634,364 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 209 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Alisson Becker | 45% | 128 |
| #9 | DONvito | 44% | 171 |
| #10 | Raphoenoxis | 44% | 117 |
| #11 | Positive Mental Attitude | 41% | 323 |
| #12 | Houlberg ☘ | 40% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marni | 561 | 0.06 | 16 min |
| #2 | Positive Mental Attitude | 538 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #3 | ✪ Pabl0 | 436 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #4 | Houlberg ☘ | 328 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #5 | Raphoenoxis | 305 | 0.13 | 10 min |





