








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 330 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 552 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3336 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,098 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3337 | 20% |
| Smokes | 6080 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 3326 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4355 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,373,874 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 275 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | marni | 51% | 165 |
| #5 | JC7LG | 50% | 119 |
| #6 | Positive Mental Attitude | 47% | 108 |
| #7 | Sash | 47% | 172 |
| #8 | Vastrakal | 45% | 49 |





