








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 196 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
836 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,142 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1512 | 37% |
| Smokes | 987 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 894 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 749 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $319,149 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 148 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MBastos97 | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | Zyuwu | 85% | 13 |
| #3 | Krelfoy | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | Clearly KennyS | 63% | 40 |
| #5 | sloppy bill on the pill | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | sloppy bill on the pill | 58% | 12 |
| #6 | Packy | 55% | 20 |
| #7 | Dewey Fan | 50% | 10 |
| #8 | Sir Longballs | 50% | 12 |
| #9 | timthebigone | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MBastos97 | 2 | 0.0145 |
| #2 | Clearly KennyS | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Packy | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Sir Longballs | 1 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Zyuwu | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zyuwu | 103 | 0.40 | 3 min |
| #2 | Packy | 62 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Sir Longballs | 62 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #4 | Clearly KennyS | 49 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Krelfoy | 47 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zyuwu | +5.39 | 60 | 72 |
| #2 | Packy | +3.44 | 71 | 60 |
| #3 | Clearly KennyS | +3.03 | 78 | 47 |
| #4 | Krelfoy | +1.77 | 43 | 74 |
| #5 | sloppy bill on the pill | +1.45 | 54 | 53 |





