








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 263 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2489 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,788 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1809 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1582 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1140 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1257 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,421,418 of utility $227 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BryanSwitchedOnTTV DROP.SKIN | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | Jig | 60% | 40 |
| #3 | Soybean | 59% | 27 |
| #4 | Moopz | 54% | 28 |
| #5 | UndeadTiger | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | CraMdeN | 50% | 34 |
| #7 | goblins are real | 43% | 28 |
| #8 | inEquity | 42% | 19 |
| #9 | Daybreak | 38% | 21 |
| #10 | The Ginge | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jig | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | CraMdeN | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | UndeadTiger | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Moopz | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Soybean | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | goblins are real | 110 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #2 | Moopz | 109 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | Soybean | 101 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | Jig | 96 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | CraMdeN | 86 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soybean | +2.25 | 76 | 64 |
| #2 | inEquity | +1.62 | 68 | 64 |
| #3 | The Ginge | +1.21 | 25 | 88 |
| #4 | CraMdeN | +0.57 | 65 | 49 |
| #5 | Moopz | +0.48 | 74 | 62 |





