








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 83 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 151 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2001 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,835 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 517 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1162 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2029 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 1127 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,006,005 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slake | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | gen | 57% | 51 |
| #3 | ✰J | 50% | 46 |
| #4 | FrAXXi ´ ツ | 50% | 126 |
| #5 | GoForLaw @ Rentnerpeek | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ✰J | 50% | 46 |
| #4 | FrAXXi ´ ツ | 50% | 126 |
| #5 | GoForLaw @ Rentnerpeek | 48% | 23 |
| #6 | ✪ Gerdda | 45% | 69 |
| #7 | SkRePy4rD | 26% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FrAXXi ´ ツ | 10 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | ✪ Gerdda | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Slake | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | GoForLaw @ Rentnerpeek | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | gen | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Gerdda | 183 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | FrAXXi ´ ツ | 143 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | gen | 140 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | ✰J | 59 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Slake | 48 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GoForLaw @ Rentnerpeek | +3.84 | 88 | 60 |
| #2 | Slake | +3.54 | 85 | 77 |
| #3 | gen | +2.74 | 84 | 74 |
| #4 | FrAXXi ´ ツ | +1.11 | 78 | 64 |
| #5 | ✰J | +0.80 | 62 | 63 |





