








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 865 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 213 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 147 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3556 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,991 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2883 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3861 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3648 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3599 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,150,495 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 234 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | syck | 43% | 100 |
| #13 | gen | 43% | 112 |
| #14 | mysli | 41% | 76 |
| #15 | ✪ Gerdda | 37% | 67 |
| #16 | Faulesocke | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FrAXXi ´ ツ | 5 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | mysli | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | ᴏ ʙ ɪ ᴛ ᴏ | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | T o s i c | 3 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | gen | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JESUSbx ਆਲੂ | 349 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | gen | 243 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | ✪ Gerdda | 157 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | spUUkz | 124 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | syck | 102 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slake | +2.92 | 80 | 72 |
| #2 | low | +1.50 | 88 | 43 |
| #3 | spUUkz | +0.82 | 78 | 66 |
| #4 | ᴏ ʙ ɪ ᴛ ᴏ | +0.54 | 67 | 59 |
| #5 | gen | +0.01 | 79 | 66 |





