








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 467 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 293 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5601 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,333 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5824 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5809 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3651 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4049 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,028,982 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 396 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Viikseen | 55% | 237 |
| #2 | CrackMan | 53% | 160 |
| #3 | bob24 | 52% | 371 |
| #4 | Miss Bob Stewart | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | elukkaw | 50% | 226 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | bob24 | 52% | 371 |
| #4 | Miss Bob Stewart | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | elukkaw | 50% | 226 |
| #6 | aromk | 47% | 38 |
| #7 | SnakeMan | 47% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bob24 | 24 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | elukkaw | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Viikseen | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | CrackMan | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | SnakeMan | 5 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bob24 | 2270 | 0.30 | 60 min |
| #2 | Viikseen | 1049 | 0.22 | 30 min |
| #3 | elukkaw | 675 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #4 | SnakeMan | 511 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #5 | CrackMan | 324 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vAPA | +2.93 | 61 | 73 |
| #2 | bob24 | +0.19 | 63 | 68 |
| #3 | Miss Bob Stewart | +0.12 | 65 | 71 |
| #4 | elukkaw | -0.48 | 59 | 55 |
| #5 | aromk | -0.69 | 50 | 59 |





