








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1125 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,708 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2738 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2262 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2253 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2455 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $572,773 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 131 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | bob24 | 48% | 147 |
| #7 | CrackMan | 47% | 148 |
| #8 | vAPA | 47% | 104 |
| #9 | elukkaw | 45% | 97 |
| #10 | aromk | 43% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bob24 | 907 | 0.32 | 24 min |
| #2 | vAPA | 424 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #3 | Viikseen | 361 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #4 | elukkaw | 284 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | CrackMan | 272 | 0.10 | 6 min |





