








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 196 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 228 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3305 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,255 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6149 | 55% |
| Smokes | 1651 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 2399 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1056 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,237,756 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elukkaw | 56% | 121 |
| #2 | vAPA | 55% | 237 |
| #3 | bob24 | 54% | 265 |
| #4 | CrackMan | 54% | 169 |
| #5 | aromk | 53% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bob24 | 11 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | vAPA | 11 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | elukkaw | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Pyllynaama2 | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Miss Bob Stewart | 5 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bob24 | 1573 | 0.29 | 41 min |
| #2 | vAPA | 928 | 0.19 | 30 min |
| #3 | SnakeMan | 420 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #4 | elukkaw | 380 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | CrackMan | 320 | 0.09 | 6 min |





