








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 282 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 195 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3810 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,128 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4828 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3215 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3139 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2946 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,642,690 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 224 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | bob24 | 50% | 208 |
| #6 | vAPA | 50% | 226 |
| #7 | Pyllynaama2 | 49% | 77 |
| #8 | CrackMan | 47% | 150 |
| #9 | SnakeMan | 45% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bob24 | 15 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | vAPA | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | CrackMan | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | SnakeMan | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Miss Bob Stewart | 5 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bob24 | 1357 | 0.33 | 37 min |
| #2 | vAPA | 786 | 0.17 | 24 min |
| #3 | Viikseen | 532 | 0.22 | 16 min |
| #4 | SnakeMan | 435 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #5 | Pyllynaama2 | 294 | 0.21 | 9 min |





