








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 312 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 437 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3535 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,073 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 593 | 4% |
| Smokes | 4519 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4470 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4491 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,316,250 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BUSAI | 52% | 27 |
| #2 | Koaly | 46% | 226 |
| #3 | Levifhajfdlaéj | 45% | 185 |
| #4 | mate01 | 44% | 302 |
| #5 | ✞ G | 43% | 161 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | mate01 | 44% | 302 |
| #5 | ✞ G | 43% | 161 |
| #6 | The Buday | 42% | 100 |
| #7 | minotru | 40% | 203 |
| #8 | SkeetLeon | 31% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mate01 | 16 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Levifhajfdlaéj | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Koaly | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | ✞ G | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | BUSAI | 7 | 0.0118 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koaly | 627 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #2 | Levifhajfdlaéj | 445 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #3 | mate01 | 276 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #4 | The Buday | 191 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | ✞ G | 169 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BUSAI | +3.22 | 57 | 64 |
| #2 | Levifhajfdlaéj | +2.97 | 54 | 58 |
| #3 | ✞ G | +1.33 | 56 | 57 |
| #4 | The Buday | +0.37 | 29 | 73 |
| #5 | mate01 | -0.14 | 31 | 53 |





