








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 240 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 215 matches | ||
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2322 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,582 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2947 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3357 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2765 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3513 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,141,131 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ahvostin | 54% | 99 |
| #2 | sibs eye | 53% | 83 |
| #3 | Tallipäällikkö Kuoppakyy 3.3t | 51% | 130 |
| #4 | Maindi | 51% | 146 |
| #5 | urbanurger | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | bot_allen | 41% | 37 |
| #11 | ozeD | 40% | 20 |
| #12 | Gettolasa | 39% | 28 |
| #13 | Mr.Puffington | 32% | 34 |
| #14 | ;micE | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kurkel | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Maikkari | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Mr.Puffington | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | weku | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Maindi | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maikkari | 860 | 0.23 | 27 min |
| #2 | kurkel | 658 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #3 | Maindi | 480 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #4 | Tallipäällikkö Kuoppakyy 3.3t | 247 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | Ahvostin | 244 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kurkel | +2.60 | 70 | 75 |
| #2 | weku | +2.03 | 74 | 83 |
| #3 | Maindi | +0.78 | 71 | 68 |
| #4 | Maikkari | +0.34 | 57 | 82 |
| #5 | bot_allen | +0.14 | 64 | 68 |





