








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 274 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1537 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,792 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1428 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2195 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1989 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2180 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $978,943 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 118 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Puffington | 54% | 13 |
| #2 | mynthon | 51% | 130 |
| #3 | Ahvostin | 50% | 80 |
| #4 | kurkel | 49% | 133 |
| #5 | Taika🚬 | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | sibs eye | 44% | 87 |
| #10 | Maindi | 43% | 99 |
| #11 | bot_allen | 43% | 14 |
| #12 | RegeSorsa ":D" | 40% | 25 |
| #13 | Jakeri | 0% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sibs eye | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | mynthon | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | kurkel | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Mr.Puffington | 4 | 0.0183 |
| #5 | Maindi | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kurkel | 479 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | Maikkari | 395 | 0.26 | 13 min |
| #3 | mynthon | 356 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | Maindi | 298 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | Ahvostin | 203 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kurkleif | +4.91 | 81 | 72 |
| #2 | kurkel | +2.79 | 65 | 74 |
| #3 | Taika🚬 | +1.21 | 52 | 44 |
| #4 | Maikkari | +1.19 | 55 | 80 |
| #5 | Maindi | +0.80 | 73 | 70 |





