








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 346 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 261 matches | ||
| Faceit | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4078 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,467 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6239 | 25% |
| Smokes | 6560 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6125 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5543 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $998,520 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 530 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #18 | marfalo | 41% | 29 |
| #19 | Gettolasa | 36% | 53 |
| #20 | Mr.Puffington | 36% | 76 |
| #21 | bot_allen | 33% | 67 |
| #22 | ;micE | 26% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Puffington | 12 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | weku | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | kurkel | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | mynthon | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | MentZi | 4 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weku | 476 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #2 | kurkel | 422 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #3 | MentZi | 405 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #4 | mynthon | 346 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #5 | ay ay ron | 278 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jupe | +3.24 | 84 | 80 |
| #2 | teqS | +2.50 | 79 | 62 |
| #3 | weku | +2.06 | 76 | 84 |
| #4 | kurkel | +1.72 | 67 | 72 |
| #5 | ay ay ron | +1.23 | 68 | 68 |





