








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 443 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 180 matches | ||
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3133 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,026 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3739 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3353 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3708 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3226 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $987,775 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weku | 64% | 33 |
| #2 | sibs eye | 52% | 90 |
| #3 | Maikkari | 50% | 145 |
| #4 | MentZi | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | urbanurger | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | mynthon | 50% | 204 |
| #7 | Tallipäällikkö Kuoppakyy 3.3t | 49% | 133 |
| #8 | Ahvostin | 47% | 129 |
| #9 | Maindi | 46% | 193 |
| #10 | Mr.Puffington | 39% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Puffington | 8 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | mynthon | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Maikkari | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Maindi | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Tallipäällikkö Kuoppakyy 3.3t | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maikkari | 694 | 0.23 | 21 min |
| #2 | Maindi | 591 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #3 | mynthon | 520 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #4 | Ahvostin | 306 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Tallipäällikkö Kuoppakyy 3.3t | 246 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weku | +2.37 | 73 | 84 |
| #2 | kurkel | +2.32 | 68 | 73 |
| #3 | Maindi | +0.63 | 72 | 69 |
| #4 | Maikkari | +0.31 | 57 | 81 |
| #5 | MentZi | +0.07 | 81 | 69 |





