








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 199 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1175 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,216 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1394 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1135 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 998 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 689 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $631,444 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soap | 60% | 35 |
| #2 | sportz | 59% | 102 |
| #3 | Nacho | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | Kua1a | 53% | 130 |
| #5 | Retro | 52% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sportz | 10 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Kua1a | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | SlickRick | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Retro | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | soap | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sportz | 302 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | Kua1a | 224 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Retro | 177 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | SlickRick | 165 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | soap | 98 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sportz | +5.15 | 91 | 69 |
| #2 | HOMIE | +2.29 | 86 | 33 |
| #3 | Retro | +2.02 | 75 | 59 |
| #4 | Kua1a | +2.00 | 84 | 57 |
| #5 | soap | +1.92 | 88 | 59 |





