








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
859 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,402 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 773 | 32% |
| Smokes | 584 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 472 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 573 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $344,300 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 116 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soap | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | eN-Vee | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | sportz | 50% | 50 |
| #4 | Retro | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | Kua1a | 44% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SlickRick | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Kua1a | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | sportz | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Retro | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | soap | 1 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sportz | 165 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | SlickRick | 132 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | Retro | 129 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | pho | 129 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | Kua1a | 106 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sportz | +4.25 | 91 | 72 |
| #2 | Kua1a | +1.55 | 82 | 54 |
| #3 | Retro | +1.31 | 75 | 54 |
| #4 | soap | -0.07 | 87 | 46 |
| #5 | eN-Vee | -0.42 | 91 | 65 |





