








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 321 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 130 matches | ||
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2485 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,531 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4780 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4445 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3103 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3203 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $794,824 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koaskrokette | 59% | 44 |
| #2 | xyLite - | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | Midget Spinner | 55% | 66 |
| #4 | Gele Kangoeroe | 52% | 90 |
| #5 | Fucidin1 | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | De gewassen panda | 47% | 91 |
| #9 | MonstrO | 45% | 65 |
| #10 | `..°W3stY°®¹ | 44% | 16 |
| #11 | Sp1cy | 43% | 51 |
| #12 | MUSCLE | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donny Bals | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Sp1cy | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Midget Spinner | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | FruitDealer | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | xyLite - | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Midget Spinner | 318 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #2 | Donny Bals | 204 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | Sp1cy | 164 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | MonstrO | 159 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | FruitDealer | 100 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FruitDealer | +3.04 | 67 | 49 |
| #2 | xyLite - | +2.80 | 79 | 54 |
| #3 | Koaskrokette | +2.31 | 74 | 71 |
| #4 | MonstrO | +2.11 | 78 | 66 |
| #5 | Sp1cy | +1.90 | 81 | 52 |





