








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1598 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 609 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




106 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7427 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,442 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7320 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5664 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6446 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5012 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,336,056 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1148 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | InFLuenCE | 67% | 36 |
| #2 | YMKlouiB | 64% | 55 |
| #3 | HAZiiE | 62% | 90 |
| #4 | Nick Eh 30 | 60% | 62 |
| #5 | ♕ MadCap ♕ | 59% | 210 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | YMKlouiB | 64% | 55 |
| #3 | HAZiiE | 62% | 90 |
| #4 | Nick Eh 30 | 60% | 62 |
| #5 | ♕ MadCap ♕ | 59% | 210 |
| #6 | Naughty Noo-Noo | 57% | 174 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♕ MadCap ♕ | 62 | 0.0140 |
| #2 | Naughty Noo-Noo | 15 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | YMKlouiB | 10 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | Nick Eh 30 | 7 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | HAZiiE | 4 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Naughty Noo-Noo | 574 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | ♕ MadCap ♕ | 548 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #3 | YMKlouiB | 255 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #4 | Nick Eh 30 | 131 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | HAZiiE | 93 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | InFLuenCE | +3.14 | 86 | 58 |
| #2 | YMKlouiB | +1.43 | 73 | 68 |
| #3 | HAZiiE | +1.42 | 73 | 50 |
| #4 | KOKKIES | +1.10 | 72 | 67 |
| #5 | Naughty Noo-Noo | +1.09 | 68 | 61 |





