








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
566 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,003 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 451 | 23% |
| Smokes | 520 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 492 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 540 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $141,492 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heywod | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Wojo | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | AgentShield | 67% | 21 |
| #4 | Dayne | 63% | 24 |
| #5 | ToxicBullet | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Hawkish | 33% | 3 |
| #14 | Dewey Fan | 25% | 4 |
| #15 | sletong | 17% | 6 |
| #16 | p i v o o o | 11% | 9 |
| #17 | Flo | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AgentShield | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Bun | 1 | 0.0115 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dayne | 95 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | 1ce | 86 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | AgentShield | 53 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | sletong | 31 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #5 | Wojo | 29 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | speed | +3.42 | 76 | 66 |
| #2 | AgentShield | +2.42 | 55 | 53 |
| #3 | Dayne | +1.99 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | Flotek | +1.86 | 87 | 61 |
| #5 | Midas | +1.47 | 66 | 20 |





