








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 87 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
602 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,439 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1268 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1100 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 979 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1092 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $442,760 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bun | 47% | 19 |
| #2 | Dayne | 47% | 47 |
| #3 | 1ce | 41% | 136 |
| #4 | AgentShield | 38% | 114 |
| #5 | Wojo | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AgentShield | 17 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | 1ce | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Wojo | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Bun | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Dayne | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1ce | 467 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | AgentShield | 324 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | Dayne | 164 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | Wojo | 67 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Bun | 18 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dayne | +2.97 | 74 | 71 |
| #2 | AgentShield | +2.75 | 64 | 52 |
| #3 | Wojo | +2.44 | 80 | 67 |
| #4 | 1ce | +0.29 | 39 | 64 |
| #5 | Bun | -1.97 | 41 | 23 |





