








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 700 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2182 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,926 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1757 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1799 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1674 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1696 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $505,838 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tstone - See You in Valhalla | 52% | 50 |
| #2 | Tollef | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | I am Groot | 47% | 34 |
| #4 | ☆Joanito☆ | 38% | 16 |
| #5 | ☆Joanito☆ | 37% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Tollef | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | I am Groot | 47% | 34 |
| #4 | ☆Joanito☆ | 38% | 16 |
| #5 | ☆Joanito☆ | 37% | 30 |
| #6 | Habibi | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☆Joanito☆ | 4 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | ☆Joanito☆ | 3 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☆Joanito☆ | 74 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #2 | I am Groot | 73 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | ☆Joanito☆ | 70 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Tstone - See You in Valhalla | 39 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Habibi | 29 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Traxs #13 | +0.74 | 86 | 66 |
| #2 | I am Groot | +0.71 | 78 | 64 |
| #3 | ☆Joanito☆ | +0.69 | 79 | 43 |
| #4 | ☆Joanito☆ | +0.18 | 83 | 50 |
| #5 | Tstone - See You in Valhalla | +0.16 | 71 | 51 |





