








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 611 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 312 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4276 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,531 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3267 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4625 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3233 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3406 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $784,421 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 613 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tollef | 60% | 68 |
| #2 | Tstone - See You in Valhalla | 50% | 115 |
| #3 | Traxs #13 | 47% | 34 |
| #4 | KnekT ツ | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | HerceN | 38% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tollef | 60% | 68 |
| #2 | Tstone - See You in Valhalla | 50% | 115 |
| #3 | Traxs #13 | 47% | 34 |
| #4 | KnekT ツ | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | HerceN | 38% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tstone - See You in Valhalla | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Tollef | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Traxs #13 | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HerceN | 176 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #2 | Traxs #13 | 137 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | Tollef | 125 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Tstone - See You in Valhalla | 97 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | KnekT ツ | 46 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Traxs #13 | +1.55 | 87 | 71 |
| #2 | HerceN | +1.16 | 81 | 53 |
| #3 | I am Groot | +0.84 | 81 | 64 |
| #4 | Tollef | +0.24 | 82 | 62 |
| #5 | Tstone - See You in Valhalla | -0.93 | 66 | 56 |





