








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 83 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3702 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,926 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3189 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2629 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1334 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1774 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $202,711 of utility $33 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 668 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gullnesen | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Fo4m | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | Tstone - See You in Valhalla | 60% | 30 |
| #4 | BerryGirl | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | Crispy | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | BerryGirl | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | Crispy | 47% | 32 |
| #6 | Princ3 | 45% | 31 |
| #7 | Traxs #13 | 38% | 16 |
| #8 | Tollef | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Princ3 | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | BerryGirl | 2 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Crispy | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Tollef | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Gullnesen | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crispy | 107 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | Princ3 | 65 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Traxs #13 | 59 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | Tollef | 43 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Tstone - See You in Valhalla | 40 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☆Joanito☆ | +2.74 | 82 | 48 |
| #2 | Gullnesen | +1.96 | 69 | 61 |
| #3 | Tollef | +1.04 | 84 | 56 |
| #4 | Tstone - See You in Valhalla | +0.13 | 71 | 52 |
| #5 | Traxs #13 | -1.35 | 90 | 57 |





