








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1821 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,008 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2014 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2029 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2028 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1937 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $769,674 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FeelGood | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Houblon | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | LaTarTi [Ne] PlouF | 47% | 62 |
| #4 | JackyThaï © | 46% | 92 |
| #5 | Alexzec | 45% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LaTarTi [Ne] PlouF | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Le RenarD | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | PSYKO | 3 | 0.0124 |
| #4 | JackyThaï © | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Stonz | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stonz | 621 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #2 | Le RenarD | 537 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #3 | Alexzec | 493 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #4 | LaTarTi [Ne] PlouF | 263 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #5 | JackyThaï © | 117 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Million | +1.46 | 58 | 64 |
| #2 | Stonz | +1.37 | 59 | 75 |
| #3 | Alexzec | +1.25 | 55 | 72 |
| #4 | FeelGood | +1.00 | 54 | 61 |
| #5 | PSYKO | +0.54 | 75 | 70 |





