








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 318 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 257 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3235 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,134 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3968 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3743 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2505 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3918 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $856,338 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Million | 45% | 22 |
| #10 | D x t. | 45% | 168 |
| #11 | Stonz | 45% | 279 |
| #12 | Nono | 41% | 17 |
| #13 | Synop_s | 25% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LaTarTi [Ne] PlouF | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Le RenarD | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Stonz | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | PSYKO | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | D x t. | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stonz | 1004 | 0.17 | 34 min |
| #2 | Le RenarD | 825 | 0.19 | 19 min |
| #3 | LaTarTi [Ne] PlouF | 471 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #4 | D x t. | 321 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #5 | vivou | 189 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stonz | +1.33 | 62 | 77 |
| #2 | Alexzec | +0.95 | 56 | 70 |
| #3 | RaghZy Paï Paï | +0.48 | 61 | 67 |
| #4 | PSYKO | +0.39 | 78 | 65 |
| #5 | JackyThaï © | +0.21 | 69 | 59 |





