








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 205 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 188 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1679 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,482 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4073 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2501 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2591 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2317 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $831,844 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 204 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | LaTarTi [Ne] PlouF | 45% | 82 |
| #12 | D x t. | 44% | 142 |
| #13 | JackyThaï © | 44% | 79 |
| #14 | PSYKO | 39% | 33 |
| #15 | Synop_s | 33% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LaTarTi [Ne] PlouF | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Stonz | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Alexzec | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | D x t. | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | JackyThaï © | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stonz | 867 | 0.18 | 29 min |
| #2 | Alexzec | 681 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #3 | LaTarTi [Ne] PlouF | 399 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #4 | D x t. | 323 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #5 | vivou | 204 | 0.17 | 5 min |





