








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
477 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,366 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 308 | 23% |
| Smokes | 412 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 335 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 311 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $236,355 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAVER1CK-1 | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | Gaptiste | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | abchecken -.- | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | korniii | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | Stepi | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | korniii | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | Stepi | 47% | 17 |
| #6 | AandiiXX | 44% | 16 |
| #7 | Vollkornsprudel | 43% | 14 |
| #8 | ExorE | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stepi | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | ExorE | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | abchecken -.- | 1 | 0.0135 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AandiiXX | 116 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #2 | korniii | 44 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | Gaptiste | 37 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | ExorE | 17 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Stepi | 9 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAVER1CK-1 | +3.07 | 73 | 83 |
| #2 | abchecken -.- | +2.81 | 48 | 73 |
| #3 | AandiiXX | +2.70 | 63 | 82 |
| #4 | Vollkornsprudel | +0.87 | 50 | 64 |
| #5 | Voggäääääääää | +0.16 | 55 | 54 |





