










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 262 matches | 1,857 | |
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4023 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,954 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3275 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5091 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4823 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3765 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,517,353 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fffffffffear | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | Hubris | 55% | 44 |
| #3 | magnejulkveld | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | Rewnie | 51% | 37 |
| #5 | s | 51% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Rewnie | 51% | 37 |
| #5 | s | 51% | 67 |
| #6 | einern | 48% | 29 |
| #7 | ProeY | 43% | 35 |
| #8 | Saltsyr3K. | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Hubris | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | ProeY | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s | 563 | 0.35 | 15 min |
| #2 | Rewnie | 162 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | fffffffffear | 152 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #4 | Hubris | 91 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | ProeY | 89 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | magnejulkveld | +1.16 | 79 | 68 |
| #2 | s | +1.02 | 61 | 75 |
| #3 | Isaksen | +0.09 | 76 | 65 |
| #4 | einern | -0.37 | 62 | 63 |
| #5 | Hubris | -0.42 | 66 | 59 |





