








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1747 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 386 matches | 1,915 | |
| Faceit | 70 matches | ||
| Renown | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4115 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,902 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4102 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3715 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4471 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4614 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,065,276 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 830 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R. | 55% | 71 |
| #2 | Isaksen | 55% | 44 |
| #3 | dZAGOEV #10 | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | magnejulkveld | 52% | 191 |
| #5 | s | 50% | 274 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rewnie | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | s | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | magnejulkveld | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | King | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | R. | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s | 1929 | 0.32 | 46 min |
| #2 | Rewnie | 876 | 0.15 | 24 min |
| #3 | Kooba | 664 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #4 | vibZ3t0r1 | 507 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #5 | magnejulkveld | 345 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R. | +2.44 | 45 | 79 |
| #2 | vibZ3t0r1 | +1.74 | 61 | 76 |
| #3 | dZAGOEV #10 | +1.32 | 67 | 78 |
| #4 | magnejulkveld | +1.21 | 76 | 69 |
| #5 | leninur | +0.93 | 42 | 63 |





