








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1856 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 320 matches | 1,936 | |
| Premier | 161 matches | ||
| Faceit | 98 matches | ||
| Renown | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7101 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,105 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9655 | 29% |
| Smokes | 8228 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7715 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7507 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,125,647 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1165 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s | 2008 | 0.32 | 47 min |
| #2 | Kooba | 573 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #3 | vibZ3t0r1 | 507 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #4 | Hubris | 427 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #5 | skamskam | 355 | 0.13 | 9 min |





