








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 856 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 200 matches | 1,828 | |
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Renown | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2076 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,724 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2438 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2645 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2468 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2173 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,017,596 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 421 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Isaksen | 43% | 35 |
| #11 | DRIFT9LE | 41% | 17 |
| #12 | dZAGOEV #10 | 41% | 17 |
| #13 | fffffffffear | 33% | 15 |
| #14 | King | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R. | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | magnejulkveld | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Kooba | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | einern | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Hubris | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s | 669 | 0.34 | 16 min |
| #2 | Rewnie | 283 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | Kooba | 212 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | R. | 168 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #5 | magnejulkveld | 122 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R. | +2.41 | 44 | 80 |
| #2 | vibZ3t0r1 | +1.91 | 61 | 79 |
| #3 | magnejulkveld | +1.18 | 77 | 68 |
| #4 | s | +1.12 | 58 | 71 |
| #5 | dZAGOEV #10 | +0.47 | 61 | 70 |





