








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2698 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 452 matches | 2,023 | |
| Faceit | 118 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Renown | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7160 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,082 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12036 | 32% |
| Smokes | 8953 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 9038 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 8055 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,474,341 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1239 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King | 59% | 37 |
| #2 | magnejulkveld | 58% | 183 |
| #3 | R. | 56% | 50 |
| #4 | Rewnie | 54% | 291 |
| #5 | leninur | 54% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | vibZ3t0r1 | 50% | 240 |
| #11 | Kooba | 50% | 144 |
| #12 | Hubris | 50% | 274 |
| #13 | fffffffffear | 49% | 73 |
| #14 | ProeY | 47% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hubris | 11 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Rewnie | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | vibZ3t0r1 | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | einern | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | ProeY | 4 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rewnie | 964 | 0.15 | 27 min |
| #2 | vibZ3t0r1 | 699 | 0.14 | 20 min |
| #3 | Hubris | 467 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #4 | Kooba | 387 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #5 | fffffffffear | 364 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R. | +1.78 | 42 | 78 |
| #2 | dZAGOEV #10 | +1.23 | 65 | 76 |
| #3 | vibZ3t0r1 | +1.12 | 60 | 75 |
| #4 | magnejulkveld | +0.82 | 79 | 68 |
| #5 | s | +0.82 | 61 | 69 |





