








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1622 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 919 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7287 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,866 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12603 | 44% |
| Smokes | 6506 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6901 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2856 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,687,018 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2978 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ROb | 82% | 79 |
| #2 | Jedi Ken | 76% | 144 |
| #3 | Knocks | 76% | 105 |
| #4 | Firefoxjen | 74% | 80 |
| #5 | Lethal | 72% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | M1KA | 71% | 130 |
| #8 | Mazy | 71% | 51 |
| #9 | Ochsner | 68% | 69 |
| #10 | Tyson | 66% | 53 |
| #11 | ♛ §UM †ING W◑NG ツ | 55% | 175 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1KA | 17 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | ROb | 12 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | Donnie (The Problem) | 11 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Tyson | 7 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | Knocks | 6 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1KA | 451 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | ♛ §UM †ING W◑NG ツ | 408 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #3 | Donnie (The Problem) | 374 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #4 | Knocks | 373 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #5 | Ochsner | 289 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donnie (The Problem) | +4.14 | 79 | 77 |
| #2 | Knocks | +4.03 | 68 | 87 |
| #3 | Mazy | +3.27 | 67 | 61 |
| #4 | Lethal | +3.08 | 97 | 34 |
| #5 | M1KA | +1.93 | 65 | 70 |





