








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 102 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1204 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,815 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 802 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1053 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1063 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 897 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $302,206 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NanuX | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | bavy | 54% | 59 |
| #3 | h3ll | 54% | 78 |
| #4 | mat | 52% | 27 |
| #5 | SwemasterX | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | mat | 52% | 27 |
| #5 | SwemasterX | 50% | 20 |
| #6 | OFENMEISTER | 50% | 56 |
| #7 | VentL_ | 49% | 63 |
| #8 | Helmi | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VentL_ | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | OFENMEISTER | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | bavy | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | mat | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VentL_ | 325 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #2 | bavy | 317 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #3 | OFENMEISTER | 225 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | h3ll | 103 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Helmi | 71 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NanuX | +2.85 | 90 | 66 |
| #2 | OFENMEISTER | +1.19 | 60 | 69 |
| #3 | SwemasterX | +0.80 | 87 | 50 |
| #4 | h3ll | +0.35 | 67 | 56 |
| #5 | MnKr_ | +0.21 | 85 | 59 |





