








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 41 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
389 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,776 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 249 | 14% |
| Smokes | 525 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 479 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 523 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $105,950 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bavy | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | smooth | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | ► Kevin ◄ | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | OFENMEISTER | 56% | 25 |
| #5 | h3ll | 54% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Helmi | 54% | 13 |
| #7 | MnKr_ | 52% | 27 |
| #8 | VentL_ | 48% | 23 |
| #9 | SwemasterX | 43% | 7 |
| #10 | 3D2YSilveR | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bavy | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VentL_ | 133 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #2 | OFENMEISTER | 124 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #3 | bavy | 120 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| #4 | h3ll | 75 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | MnKr_ | 66 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OFENMEISTER | +2.10 | 49 | 73 |
| #2 | smooth | +1.55 | 79 | 52 |
| #3 | MnKr_ | +1.18 | 90 | 64 |
| #4 | bavy | +0.88 | 81 | 76 |
| #5 | SwemasterX | +0.63 | 86 | 68 |





