








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1281 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,697 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1422 | 30% |
| Smokes | 929 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1439 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 907 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $662,917 of utility $211 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 231 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SMUGUDILAATIO | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | banger | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | MentZi | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | dddXUULIK | 46% | 26 |
| #5 | kurkel | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Gettolasa | 25% | 65 |
| #13 | ;micE | 22% | 64 |
| #14 | weku | 21% | 14 |
| #15 | HLPK‰ ReiviSorsa ":D" | 21% | 14 |
| #16 | RegeSorsa ":D" | 21% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Puffington | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Maikkari | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | ;micE | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Gettolasa | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | mynthon | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maikkari | 394 | 0.28 | 13 min |
| #2 | Gettolasa | 159 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | ;micE | 132 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | mynthon | 92 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | RegeSorsa ":D" | 92 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kurkel | +2.32 | 68 | 70 |
| #2 | weku | +1.92 | 69 | 77 |
| #3 | banger | +1.76 | 81 | 82 |
| #4 | Kurdikuiskaaja ":D" | +1.75 | 40 | 60 |
| #5 | HLPK‰ ReiviSorsa ":D" | +1.38 | 59 | 63 |





