








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1249 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 627 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 176 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6830 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,498 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6293 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5434 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5956 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3815 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,100,215 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1537 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dog | 55% | 53 |
| #2 | Sushimonster | 53% | 368 |
| #3 | ❟❛❟ shorkyuN ❟❛❟ | 49% | 351 |
| #4 | Wiz | 48% | 75 |
| #5 | K4g4m1 | 48% | 232 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Sushimonster | 53% | 368 |
| #3 | ❟❛❟ shorkyuN ❟❛❟ | 49% | 351 |
| #4 | Wiz | 48% | 75 |
| #5 | K4g4m1 | 48% | 232 |
| #6 | ✪This Is Odd | 45% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sushimonster | 22 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | ❟❛❟ shorkyuN ❟❛❟ | 11 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | K4g4m1 | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Wiz | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Dog | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❟❛❟ shorkyuN ❟❛❟ | 1643 | 0.22 | 39 min |
| #2 | K4g4m1 | 798 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #3 | Sushimonster | 333 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| #4 | Wiz | 252 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | ✪This Is Odd | 65 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wiz | +1.57 | 75 | 57 |
| #2 | Sushimonster | +0.94 | 70 | 57 |
| #3 | Mykle | +0.70 | 72 | 63 |
| #4 | K4g4m1 | +0.01 | 54 | 59 |
| #5 | Dog | -0.57 | 60 | 47 |





