








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1233 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 605 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6984 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,060 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7817 | 31% |
| Smokes | 6676 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5426 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5141 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,063,154 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 821 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Orion | 57% | 60 |
| #2 | ❟❛❟ shorkyuN ❟❛❟ | 53% | 55 |
| #3 | JoKeR | 49% | 55 |
| #4 | Mykle | 48% | 75 |
| #5 | Mega Chinese | 46% | 248 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Mega Chinese | 46% | 248 |
| #6 | Mega Pint | 46% | 166 |
| #7 | Soda | 42% | 36 |
| #8 | Mega Burger | 41% | 39 |
| #9 | ShimmyJimmy46 | 40% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mega Pint | 17 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Mega Chinese | 14 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Mykle | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | ShimmyJimmy46 | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | ❟❛❟ shorkyuN ❟❛❟ | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mega Pint | 566 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #2 | Mega Chinese | 323 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #3 | ❟❛❟ shorkyuN ❟❛❟ | 270 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #4 | Mykle | 179 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | ✪ Orion | 177 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wiz | +1.47 | 74 | 53 |
| #2 | ✪ Orion | +1.13 | 58 | 60 |
| #3 | Mykle | +0.72 | 75 | 62 |
| #4 | Soda | +0.12 | 54 | 48 |
| #5 | Mega Chinese | +0.03 | 68 | 55 |





