








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 482 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 490 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5440 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,376 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5720 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3588 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5449 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3619 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,035,496 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 419 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sushimonster | 53% | 178 |
| #2 | Dog | 52% | 79 |
| #3 | ❟❛❟ shorkyuN ❟❛❟ | 50% | 350 |
| #4 | Vargas | 48% | 120 |
| #5 | Mykle | 48% | 232 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Dog | 52% | 79 |
| #3 | ❟❛❟ shorkyuN ❟❛❟ | 50% | 350 |
| #4 | Vargas | 48% | 120 |
| #5 | Mykle | 48% | 232 |
| #6 | Gelerium | 35% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mykle | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | ❟❛❟ shorkyuN ❟❛❟ | 8 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Sushimonster | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Vargas | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Dog | 4 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❟❛❟ shorkyuN ❟❛❟ | 1555 | 0.21 | 37 min |
| #2 | Mykle | 601 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #3 | Sushimonster | 166 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | Vargas | 97 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dog | 27 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sushimonster | +1.12 | 69 | 54 |
| #2 | Dog | +0.65 | 68 | 44 |
| #3 | K4g4m1 | +0.63 | 58 | 58 |
| #4 | Mykle | +0.33 | 70 | 62 |
| #5 | Vargas | -0.37 | 39 | 67 |





