








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1711 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 442 matches | ||
| Faceit | 192 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 129 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10547 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 44,711 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14325 | 32% |
| Smokes | 12549 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 9334 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 8503 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,035,262 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1068 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DOBZ | 58% | 53 |
| #2 | riKO | 58% | 57 |
| #3 | p1mple | 57% | 103 |
| #4 | m0ndayw0w d:] | 54% | 127 |
| #5 | cASK | 51% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Super Kaiyajin | 50% | 385 |
| #9 | r3ud1g3rru3d1g3r | 50% | 244 |
| #10 | DOYA | 49% | 99 |
| #11 | LUi | 49% | 253 |
| #12 | bLacKKKKKKKK | 48% | 440 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bLacKKKKKKKK | 12 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Super Kaiyajin | 8 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | r3ud1g3rru3d1g3r | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | LUi | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | KuschL #yeet | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super Kaiyajin | 1623 | 0.21 | 40 min |
| #2 | r3ud1g3rru3d1g3r | 812 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #3 | LUi | 790 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #4 | bLacKKKKKKKK | 712 | 0.08 | 18 min |
| #5 | KuschL #yeet | 642 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chrizzo | +2.60 | 82 | 77 |
| #2 | m0ndayw0w d:] | +0.69 | 84 | 52 |
| #3 | bLacKKKKKKKK | +0.55 | 74 | 67 |
| #4 | Super Kaiyajin | +0.36 | 77 | 78 |
| #5 | DOBZ | +0.20 | 79 | 71 |





