








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 436 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 289 matches | ||
| Faceit | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4983 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,074 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7572 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7239 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6918 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5345 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $826,236 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DOBZ | 57% | 35 |
| #2 | p1mple | 53% | 47 |
| #3 | m0ndayw0w d:] | 52% | 108 |
| #4 | KuschL #yeet | 50% | 121 |
| #5 | LUi | 50% | 219 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | r3ud1g3rru3d1g3r | 48% | 176 |
| #9 | schändr | 46% | 52 |
| #10 | cASK | 41% | 51 |
| #11 | DOYA | 40% | 57 |
| #12 | Kⓡn | 38% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chrizzo | 10 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | bLacKKKKKKKK | 10 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | LUi | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | r3ud1g3rru3d1g3r | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | KuschL #yeet | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chrizzo | 1966 | 0.26 | 50 min |
| #2 | LUi | 690 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #3 | r3ud1g3rru3d1g3r | 567 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #4 | bLacKKKKKKKK | 517 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #5 | KuschL #yeet | 393 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chrizzo | +2.16 | 83 | 77 |
| #2 | schändr | +1.10 | 51 | 79 |
| #3 | m0ndayw0w d:] | +1.10 | 85 | 50 |
| #4 | Super Kaiyajin | +0.66 | 78 | 79 |
| #5 | bLacKKKKKKKK | +0.15 | 72 | 67 |





